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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23868634">A Proposal in Three Acts</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/kabigon/pseuds/kabigon'>kabigon</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Figure Skating RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack, Effie doesn't care about your human problems, Fluff, Jason is a Sweetheart, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Shoma is so done with Yuzuvier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 23:40:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,100</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23868634</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/kabigon/pseuds/kabigon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>It’s not his fault he found the ring.</i>
</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Javier Fernández/Yuzuru Hanyu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>123</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Proposal in Three Acts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>All written today, barely edited.  I had this idea come to be about 2.5 months ago, and just remembered.  I typically don't do crack/humor but thought I would give it a go, and decided to post it right away before I over think it.  This fic ignores actual timeline.</p><p>Hope you enjoy reading~!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Act One: Making it Happen</b>
</p><p> </p><p>Yuzuru barely contains the gasp when he finds the ring in the pocket of Javi’s hoodie, the tip of his fingers covering his opened mouth in shock.  Gold band.  Diamond inlays striped through the center because Yuzuru likes to sparkle.  It’s not his fault he found the ring.  It’s not like he went snooping around in Javi’s suitcase or something.  He wouldn’t!  Javi should have hidden it better!  Not in the pocket of the hoodie he was wearing, and of which Yuzuru was inevitably going to rip off and throw somewhere in the room the first chance they were alone.</p><p> </p><p>It’s not his fault Javi didn’t pick up their clothes before starting his shower either.  And it’s definitely not his fault that, sleepy-eyed and tired as he is, he still wanted to shower with Javi.  He always wants to shower with Javi because well… shower sex is fun, okay?  Maybe not dick in ass sex, not without an anti-slip mat and definitely not without a properly installed bar to hold on to while he’s getting properly dicked out but blowjobs are just as fun.  He loves making Javi’s knees weak and driving Javi to the point of insanity, and he especially loves stealing all the words from Javi’s brain until all Javi can say and do is grip his hair tight, fuck his mouth and repeatedly cry out his name.  “Yuzu. <em>  Yuzu.”  </em>Some of the best words Javi has ever spoken, in his very humble opinion.  Bonus, it’s easy clean-up after.</p><p> </p><p>Eyes barely opened he’d stumbled towards the bathroom only to step on the ring box wherein his knee caved reflexively before he could apply full pressure because no way was he risking an injury.  Could be nothing.  Could be <em> something, </em> and then he’d have to be mad at Javi for like… a day.  For real, that would have been one miserable day.</p><p> </p><p>He had, of course, rummaged through the pockets of Javi’s hoodie to find this offensive weapon of mass destruction.</p><p> </p><p>So really, whose fault is it?  Javi woke up first.  He should have tidied up their room.</p><p> </p><p>The bathroom door opens then and Yuzuru, in a fit of panic, snaps close the ring box and throws it haphazardly under the hoodie again.  He stands up quickly and pushes his way past Javi into the bathroom and pushes him out.</p><p> </p><p>Javi, confused, blinking at him, asks before Yuzuru closes the door, “Do you want me to shower with you?”</p><p> </p><p>“Nope,” he says uncharacteristically, then slams the door shut.</p><p> </p><p>He turns the water on quickly so he can mask any noises that might possibly escape, and then, in a fit of glee, proceeds to jump around the bathroom.</p><p> </p><p>Javi is going to ask Yuzuru to marry him.</p><p> </p><p><em> Javi </em> is going to ask <em> Yuzuru </em> to <em> marry </em>him.</p><p> </p><p>It feels like winning Olympic gold at Sochi all over again.  He’s huffing, his hands pressed against his cheek, squishing them in to ground himself.  “Okay,” he says, taking a deep breath.  “Okay.”</p><p> </p><p>He showers quickly, and when he gets out he throws himself happily into Javi who catches him just in time so they don’t topple over.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey,” Javi says, smiling at Yuzuru’s antics.  “What’s got you so happy?”</p><p> </p><p>“Just happy to be with Javi again,” he says, and it’s not even fully a lie.  It’s been weeks - <em> months - </em>since they last saw each other, since they could kiss and touch and hold each other, bask in each other’s presence instead of over an internet connection thousands of miles apart.  The end of the season and the first show in Japan couldn’t come fast enough for either of them.</p><p> </p><p>Javi pushes Yuzuru’s hair back, fingers combing through wet black, locking it in place so he can see Yuzuru’s whole face unobstructed.  Javi likes it styled like this - away from his face - and when Yuzuru does he can’t stop staring, can’t stop complimenting, can’t keep his hands off.  It’s distracting so Yuzuru hardly ever does it.  Plus he doesn’t particularly care for the style.  But, he decides, he can give Javi a treat today.</p><p> </p><p>As predicated, through rehearsals Javi’s hands are glued to his hips.</p><p> </p><p>The first week of shows come and goes and he’s invincible.  Nothing can touch him, and nothing can bring him down because <em> oh my god I’m going to be Javi’s </em> <b>husband.</b></p><p> </p><p>End of shows in their second city and okay, admittedly he’s getting a little antsy.  He wants that ring, damnit!  He only got to look at it for a second before Javi interrupted their moment.  He didn’t have the time he deserved to admire it in its full glory!</p><p> </p><p>Maybe Javi is just nervous.  There’s probably a bazillion scenarios going through his mind and who knows how many of them Javi has imagined him saying no.  Silly, of course, because why would Yuzuru say no to Javi?  Who wouldn’t want to marry Javier Fernandez?  There’s probably a line of men and women and Yuzuru just got lucky he snuck right in there first.</p><p> </p><p>Week three, their third city, and any time Javi begins any question with, “Yuzu, will you-” Yuzuru almost shouts out an emphatic <em> YES </em>before he finishes his question.  Every.  Time.  Every.  Single.  Time.  But it’s always just for stupid things, like “Yuzu, will you zip me up?” or  “Yuzu, will you grab me a water?”</p><p> </p><p>Javi doesn’t need water.  And no one needs Javi clothed.  Okay, lie.  <em> He </em> needs Javi clothed because if he never particularly wants to share a clothed Javi, there’s no way in hell he’s going to share a <em> naked </em> one.  Know what else he needs?  He really, really, <em> really </em> needs Javi to ask him already.</p><p> </p><p>Near the end of week four - last of their shows before he goes back to train in Canada for another season - he starts concocting situations to help Javi along.</p><p> </p><p>There’s dinner in the hotel restaurant, for example.  And he makes sure to tell Javi about how they have an <em> amazing </em> chocolate cake, and how he saw in some random American movie where the guy proposes by hiding a ring in the cake, to which Javi had replied, “That’s only movies, Yuzu.  What if you swallow the ring by accident?”</p><p> </p><p>And then there’d been the disaster with the roses and the rose petals he’d had delivered to the hotel. He doesn’t want to think about it.</p><p> </p><p>Yuzuru can’t say he’s not disappointed when he flies back to Canada ringless and without a fiance.  He sulks a little, that first week, and when Tracy asks him sweetly what was wrong he tells her nothing, really, men are just so dumb sometimes, to which she had laughed and wholeheartedly agreed.</p><p> </p><p>Of course Javi doesn’t ask him over the phone.  And if he did Yuzuru might have never forgiven him for it because as soon as he’s asked he wants that ring around his finger.  But ACI comes and goes, and then Skate Canada, and it’s not like there weren’t opportunities there.  He came to both events on behalf of some Japanese media outlet to commentate, yet again, and it’s not like ACI 2019 where they were just ships passing by.  They had had dinner after Yuzuru had won, and then had had a victory fuck in his hotel room after to celebrate.</p><p> </p><p>After that Yuzuru would have gladly taken a proposal over the phone.  Anything, really, because it’s November and he’s been waiting since May!</p><p> </p><p>He gives Javi one last chance, flying back to Spain with Javi from Grenoble to spend a few days alone with him.  Yuzuru did not miss the worried looks Javi kept tossing at him the entire plane ride to Madrid, like there was something wrong with him wanting to take a few days off before the Grand Prix Final.  Yuzuru is just… goal-oriented.  And he has a different goal now.  Whatever, he’ll punish Javi later.</p><p> </p><p>Still, three days later, and nothing!  It takes everything in Yuzuru <em> not </em> to stare mournfully at his finger.  And to not feel guilty too.  Ring or no, he got precious time with Javi, time he usually wouldn’t have had and it has him thinking that maybe… maybe he can start taking a few days off here and there.  Madrid is nice, and it’s warm, and he’s pretty much anonymous here.  Plus, Javi.</p><p> </p><p>Effie meows at him, pushing his hands off his lap so she could curl into him.  He rubs her head, behind her ear, under her chin.</p><p> </p><p>“What am I gonna do, Effie?” he asks her dejectedly.  “Why will Javi not ask?”</p><p> </p><p>Her only answer is to purr and lean her head into his hand.</p><p> </p><p>“What do you think I should do?” he whines and she ignores his question.  “Effie? What do you think I should do?”</p><p> </p><p>He stops to wait for her answer, and she glares at him, yawns, and then wiggles her body and settles down again.  He pokes, she meows.  He pokes again, she meows louder.</p><p> </p><p>Over dinner he pushes his food around, not feeling hungry at all.</p><p> </p><p>Javi, ever caring, “You okay?”</p><p> </p><p>Yuzuru sighs.  “Yeah?”</p><p> </p><p>“You sure?  You can ask me anything, you know?”</p><p> </p><p>“Just stupid thing,” Yuzuru says.</p><p> </p><p>“Tell me,” Javi says kindly.</p><p> </p><p>“Thing I really want to happen won’t happen,” he says cautiously.  “I keep waiting, and waiting, and waiting, but wait so long and will not happen.”<br/><br/></p><p>“So maybe not wait,” Javi says.  “If you are tired of waiting then make it happen.  Yuzu, you never wait for others to do things for you, except maybe your mom,” he teases and Yuzu kicks him just for good measure.  “Ow!”</p><p> </p><p>“Was not that hard.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yuzu, I’m out of shape and your thighs are steel.”</p><p> </p><p>“Not use thigh muscle,” he shoots back, and Javi rolls his eyes.  But maybe… Maybe Javi is right after all.  No, of course Javi is right.  Yuzuru has never waited for someone <em> else </em> to give him what he wanted, what makes now any different?  If he wants that ring he’s going to have to do it himself.</p><p> </p><p>Decision made he’s lighter, and he starts eating properly.  Javi looks at him fondly, his eyes going soft, and Yuzuru reaches out, slipping the tips of his fingers into Javi’s hand for him to hold, for his thumb to lightly run over Yuzuru’s knuckles affectionately.  “Sorry for kicking hard.”</p><p> </p><p>“So you admit it!”</p><p> </p><p>“I admit nothing!”</p><p> </p><p>The rest of the week feels like paradise.  On the plane he pulls up the shade to admire the ring on his finger and almost <em>oohs</em> when the diamonds catch the light.</p><p> </p><p>“Why, yes, Javi,” he says to himself.  “I will marry you.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Act Two: Doing It Right</b>
</p><p> </p><p><em> There’s no way </em> Javi thinks the first time he sees the ring on Yuzuru.  Must be a trick of the eyes because he’s wanted that ring on Yuzuru’s damn finger for so long his mind must have finally done him in.  He blinks once, twice, even looks away that third time to reset, only to look back at the picture on Instagram to see that yes, the ring was indeed still there and yes, the fan did, in fact, include a lot - a <em> lot </em> - of exclamation points and emoticons.</p><p> </p><p>But no.  <em> No. </em>   Yuzuru wouldn’t.  Surely.  Even if, say, Yuzuru did find the ring.  He wouldn’t.  He <em> wouldn’t. </em>   Oh for the love of God.  Who the hell was he kidding here?  Of course Yuzuru would.  Of <em> course. </em><br/><br/>Just to be sure he digs the box out of his sock drawer, flips it open to find that, as he had expected, the ring was gone.  Taken.  <em> Stolen, </em> more like.  He groans to himself, and finds Effie so he can bury his face in her fur and ask her for comfort she won’t give him.</p><p> </p><p>“Effie,” he whines into her fur.  “What am I gonna do?”</p><p> </p><p>This time she seems to be particularly offended by his question, and jumps out of his arms.  He sighs and tosses himself back onto the couch.</p><p> </p><p>“‘I just need a vacation’ my ass,” Javi grumbles into a cushion.  He had wanted to do it right, wanted to whisk Yuzuru away, probably after Japanese Nationals during the holiday break.  They could have gone to a nice hot spring, enjoyed a few days of peace and quiet and then, when it felt right, he’d have asked.  But no.  <em> No.  </em>Trust Yuzuru to ruin any sort of plan Javi might have had.</p><p> </p><p>Okay, there’s only one thing to do now.  He opens his laptop and books the first flight out to the Grand Prix Final and charms his way past security to gain backstage entry.</p><p> </p><p>Yuzuru spots him first, asks like he can’t quite believe his eyes, “Javi?”</p><p> </p><p>Javi pivots around.  “Yuzu!”</p><p> </p><p>Yuzu approaches carefully, his skates still on.  Must be just done with another practice session.  “What are you doing here?”</p><p> </p><p>“I need the ring,” Javi vomits out, and Yuzu stops immediately, whipping his hand protectively behind his back.</p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p>“Please?”  He turns on the puppy dog eyes, knows Yuzuru is weak against it, hoping that’s all it takes but-</p><p> </p><p>“No.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yuzu.”</p><p> </p><p>He watches a war of emotions flash across his face, and inside he’s begging please, please don’t but of course he does.  Of course Yuzuru runs.</p><p> </p><p>Except he’s got skates on.  On ice he’s faster, but on land Javi’s got him beat, catching him quickly.  He’s wrestling Yuzuru to the ground, wrangling Yuzuru’s hand trying to get the ring off all the while Yuzuru fights him the entire time, biting him and-</p><p> </p><p>“Ow!  Fuck!  Yuzu, stop biting!  You’re gonna draw blood!”<br/><br/>“You can’t take it back!” Yuzuru screams, and thank God too.  Screaming means no more biting at least, but he’s got a hand on Javi’s face and is trying to push him off.  Everyone around them all stare in shock at the scene unfolding, Brian with his eyes and mouth wide open, Tracy with her hands covering her mouth, Ghislain cheering and egging Yuzuru on.</p><p> </p><p>“Just let me-”</p><p> </p><p>“You can’t!  This is mine!  I made it happen so it’s mine!”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s not how it works!  I didn’t give it to you!  A ha!”</p><p> </p><p>He pulls away, triumphant with the ring in hand, only to die a little when he finally looks at Yuzuru and sees the devastation on his face.  His eyes fill with tears, his bottom lip quivers, and Javi feels like the biggest asshole in the universe.</p><p> </p><p>Gently, “Yuzu-”</p><p> </p><p>But Yuzuru cuts him off before he can finish, heartbreak so clear in his voice.  “You do not want to marry me.”</p><p> </p><p>“No,” he breathes out, stepping close to Yuzuru again only for Yuzuru to step back, away.  “That’s not-”</p><p> </p><p>“I get now,” he continues like he didn’t hear Javi at all.  “I thought you are scared so you do not ask.  So I make happen myself because I was tired of waiting.  But now I know you do not ask because you do not want to marry me.”</p><p> </p><p>Why would Yuzuru even think that?  How could he even?  Of course Javi wants to marry him.  He bought a ring.  Doesn’t that say it all?  He takes too long to deny Yuzuru’s words and by the time he opens his mouth to tell him he’s wrong Yuzuru has already turned away.  His shoulders shake, and there’s sniffling, and his hands coming up to wipe at his face.</p><p> </p><p>Oh God.  He has to fix this.  Before he can think clearly about what he’s doing he drops to his knee, the bad one - fuck, that’s going to need icing later - and calls out after Yuzu.</p><p> </p><p>“Come back.  Please, Yuzu.”<br/><br/>Yuzuru whips around angrily, ready to tell Javi to just leave him alone only to gasp in genuine shock, his hands coming up to cover his mouth.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Act Three: Oh For Fuck’s Sake</b>
</p><p> </p><p>“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Shoma groans out loud in Japanese.  Another day in the crazy love story of Yuzuru Hanyu and Javier Fernandez and he’s so over it.  Jason, beside him, is eating it all up, has a hand pressed against his heart, barely breathing, and… are those tears in his eyes?  It makes Shoma want to roll his own.</p><p> </p><p>“Javi?” Yuzuru asks, approaching lightly, his heels barely touching the ground.</p><p> </p><p>Javi, on his knee and that has got to hurt, asks tentatively, like he’s unsure of Yuzuru’s answer, “Will you marry me, Yuzu?”</p><p> </p><p>Yuzuru’s gasp this time is more audible than the last, and Shoma just wants to scream at them, “He was wearing your ring!”</p><p> </p><p>Yuzuru stops, Javi holds his breath, and then a squeal and Yuzuru sets off, Javi jumping up in time to catch him.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes!” Yuzuru announces to everyone.  “Yes, I will marry you!”</p><p> </p><p>Jason starts the applause immediately, loud, merry claps of his hands, and everyone follows suit, albeit much less enthusiastic.  He approaches them first, throws himself into the hug Javi and Yuzu are still having, and says to them, “You guys!  I’m so happy for you!” and Yuzuru breaks the hug to clasp Jason’s hands in his.</p><p> </p><p>“Jason, I’m getting married!”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re getting married!” Jason screeches back, and suddenly they’re jumping around like a bunch of school girls.  Tracy, next and then Ghislain followed by a very confused Brian and then other skaters, Shoma with them.</p><p> </p><p>After, when they’re all eating cake (where did the cake come from?) Jason tells him, “They’re so romantic, Shoma.”</p><p> </p><p>Shoma hums in agreement not because he actually agrees but because he knows Jason enough to know Jason isn’t looking for a serious conversation about how Yuzuru and Javi’s relationship is too much.  He just wants Shoma to listen to his little sighs and all of his cooing.  Maybe that type of relationship is good for some people, like Jason.  But it’s too much for him.  That kind of relationship will definitely drive him insane.</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly someone trips and falls in front of him, and when he lowers his plate he sees Nathan Chen staring up, settled onto his side, head propped up by an arm.</p><p> </p><p>“Heeeeeey,” he says to Shoma, much to his confusion, and Jason, mid-chew, chokes.  “How ‘bout them Jazz?”</p><p> </p><p>“What the hell is a Jazz?  Like music?” He almost asks out loud but is thankfully cut off by Jason out right laughing.</p><p> </p><p>Jason sets his cake down while Nathan brushes himself off, and with one hand on Nathan’s shoulder, the other squeezing Shoma’s, he glances between them.  First to Shoma who has his head tilted in confusion, and then Nathan who is smiling earnestly at Shoma, and then back to Shoma, and saying to him, “You, my friend, are doomed.”</p><p> </p><p>----</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Jazz = Utah Jazz, a basketball team.</p><p>The wonderful yypooh created a short playlist inspired by this fic.  Please take a look and listen to them <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXuyQILJ-yc&amp;list=PLP3WN-e6crcnXsMTUquE9D_LDkJiqv_3b&amp;index=2&amp;t=0s">&gt;&gt;here&lt;&lt;</a></p><p>It's so perfect and matches this fic so perfectly.  Thank you so much yypooh 💖</p></blockquote></div></div>
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